First Step Leicester, Leicestershire & Rutland
Supporting male survivors of sexual abuse and rape, and their loved ones


Childhood Abuse: The Story of a Male Survivor was taken from and has been written by Dennis Randall.

I was sexually abused as a child and I have written a book about my experiences. One day over a cup of coffee, I told a friend. The words slipped out of my mouth before I had a chance to catch them. The secret, which I hid from myself for fifty years, was no longer hidden. As I broke down in tears, my friend became the first person to learn of my past.

The simple sharing of repressed memories unleashed a flood of emotions and images. It became almost overwhelming and to restore order to the chaos of recollection; I started a journal which evolved into a 44,000-word book, “Becoming a Man in the Shadowlands.”

The memory of my suffering remained within me for so long my silence grew into a prison. Childhood trauma casts a long shadow over the lives of the injured.

I am a survivor of the Shadowlands, and today I’m free and I’ve begun the healing process. All the energy consumed keeping secrets locked away is now available to help myself heal.

For me, mending my wounds is nothing more than coming to terms with my past and understanding how my experiences helped to shape the person I am today.

Childhood’s forge of experience shaped my life one event at a time. Each of my abusers took their turn as the blacksmith. They assaulted my body and mind with their will, each strike molded and twisted me into new ways and directions. I resisted, to the best of my ability. I refused to break, and I would not yield. Nevertheless, I did bend and change. I would never be the same again.

Recovery will be a long and sometimes difficult journey. But, I would rather walk this path with friends in the sunshine than to travel alone in the darkness.

My story about being a Male Survivor is available for download from –